Happy Halloweeny!

Happy Fall;)

Fall is here..and that makes me smile...:) There is nothing quite like fall.....yummy fresh air...and the bright colors that come with it. The temp is perfect...but never stays long enough.. Kids are great!....Lets just say I feel like i never sit down :). Jordan is enjoying HOckey, and soccer....HOckey alot more than soccer :) Jurni loves her dance class.....and coming home to show me her new moves every week ! Jeff is working harder than ever.....we hardly see him....but enjoy the time we do get :) Our little Rocko is growing fast...although i think he reached his full growth...:) Here's a few pics over the space of time Ive been missing from this blog world....:) Enjoy...:)


Jurni and I enjoying a day at the cabin....riding the 4wheeler. :)


LUv this girl!!! Thankyou Lex for being there for me through....the past few months..you are golden.....I love you so sos ososososo much!!!! :)

This would be my boy friend...Easton Corbin....Jeff and I went to his concert....such a blast....and I must say i was so so close to him.:)

Just waiting for Mr. Brad paisley..rockin my sh%# kickers. :)

LIttle jurni's dance class.....I can't believe she's already in dance.....:(

My soccer stud.

My bf Jenn and i at 311!

and my favorite little hockey man. :)

Rocko just chilaxin.....

and of course...my lovely bunch of coconuts :)

Happy FALL everyone!!!

Eye Opener

Wow! I saw this video on another blog. It's breathtaking the courage this father and his boys have. Couldn't even imagine.....If only we were all a little more like them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7zwQ_7q-fU

Also just want to say thanks to my husband for always being there for me and working so hard! He works at least 12-15 hour days every single day and if he's lucky he gets a sunday off a week! It's really hard at times to not have him home when I or the kids need him....Lets hope it pays off one day! ;) I don't think i know of anybody who works as hard as him...and never once complains. We love you babe, and appreciate your hard work and dedication to this family! :)

Family Pics 2010

I know ive been such a blog slacker lately :):( Promise some good blogging in the works ;) Im so sad summer is almost over. :( grrrr

~Easter~

take. me. here.

Simmering wheat field at sunset.

A back country dirt road. Although this pic does not come close to doing the actual images of mine justice....you can see the perfect definiton of it here in Lady antebellum new vid American Honey. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tzzr7RbzUTs Everything starting with the dirt drive, wildflower field, pond, and vintage worn house...it's truly perfection. I wouldn't change a thing on the stucture of that home...it's purely flawless.

I also have a deep ache for a far off field in IReland. MMM dreamy.

when you look you see...

When you look you see.....pearl earrings. When I look I see a warm, sunny day. Her so carefully, comfortably, perched on a park bench. The sun basting the pearls just right, whim singly bouncing back to me, adding to her preexisting beauty. Catching her eye she stares back at me. With those wise innocence eyes, that still to this day I crave and ache for from the pit of my heart. Calmness over comes me by this point and I'm at ease. Eased of life's tryings, hardships, and unstable emptiness that I was feeling before this moment. It all just washes away....and it's at this moment I hear her voice. More bitter than sweet more wise than innocent. The familiar, welcome home, warm, fuzzy throw, cup of Jo' to me, that I so desperately needed.

So reassuringly she whispers, "you know how much I love you don't you? You are so special to me, don't you ever forget that! You make me so proud, you are an amazing mother, and daughter, granddaughter and wife. I love you."

These words were commonly spoken, always reminding me of my importance. It was these words that had saved me so many times before. Saved me from breakdowns, tantrums :), puddles of tears, and just plain giving up. My fears, worries, doubts, and disagreements. These words gave me the pathway to a soft landing at the end of the day that I needed to start over for the next.

It's hard to get sucked into all the negative gravity this life puts into our path. She was my assurance, the one stable unconditional soul I knew would be there to catch my falls. My (pick me up) girl! AKA grams.


~Today is harder than the rest grams. For some unknown reason I can't grasp reality and feel as week as ever. Pushing pavements has been a routine of mine most recently.

I may or may not call your set in stone ten digit number daily, just to listen to it's endless ringing. Only to swear that by about the 10th or 11th ring I can hear you pick up. With a slightly weaker "hello" than I'm used to, but the significance of it all remains the same. The pick me up I needed is there in your personalized hello. Almost as if you were expecting my call, patiently awaiting for daily grams dosage.

I may or may not rush to my closet too many times to count and grab your so carefully placed black chubby hoodie from my wardrobe. Crumble it into a ball, jump in my bed and take in its/your smell. 8 months and counting and the smell still seems to linger. Or maybe it's all just imagined....or is it.

says it all.

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melodyWhen the nights so long
Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy...
Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I... I look at you
When the wavesAre flooding the shore
and I can'tFind my way home anymore
That's when I, I... I look at you
When I look At You I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I amLike the stars Hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I Know I'm Not Alone.
Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I... I look at you
When the wavesAre flooding the shore and I can'tFind my way home anymore
That's when I, I... I look at you
You appear just like a dream to me
Just like Kaleidoscope colors thatCover Me,
All I need everyBreath that I breathe don't you knowYou're beautiful...
Yea Yea Yea
When the wavesAre flooding the shore and I can'tFind my way home anymore
That's when I, I... I look at youI look at you
Yea Yea Oh OH OH
And you appear Just like a dreamTo me.

INtroduCiNg!!!!!

OUr little Rocko!!! We decided to try the puppy thing again!!! So far he's been such a sweetheart! I love him sooo much....it's like having another baby!!!

must have's for spring!

bring it.

I've been brutally harrassed...That is why I went private...but i need everyones email so i can cont...w/ this bloggin world...:) Wow some people...I could definitley drop kick a @#!#@ right now. :( but i won't because i am so much better than that!

Jealousy = bad policy!

take a breath.

So recently a great friend reminded me of my importance...Lately i've been going through a lot, a whole lot.... not going into any details....this blog is personal but not that personal. :( but in recognition of this certain friend....I want to make known a few of my ambitions, desires, goals, passions.... NOt only for that friend...but for myself...cause I seem to have forgotten....so Im making an effort on their behalf :).

STARting w/ goals.....

Well first and most importantly this has never changed and always remained the same... Being the greatest mommy whom ever lived. Giving my children everything in life...starting w/ emotional needs...then on too the other stuff. I've always had the desire to be a mom and it always just came naturally to me...I try really hard at this goal...almost too hard. That in result ..I loose myself at times. So instead of having the goal of being the greatest mommy that every lived, im going to customize/redefine ???? it. ... from here on out. So to not only strive to be the greatest mom...im going to do so in such a way that I don't loose myself in the process. hahah wish me luck.

These goals go beyond the superficial....kind...it's alittle deeper.

I want to be successful in something other than mommyhood. Yes ok i said it... but it's so hard for me to put the mom side on the back burner in order for me to accomplish this one.

I want a golden, on top of the world kind of marriage...nuf said.

I want to come face to face w/ my fears in all aspects.!

I want to be forgiven.

I want to forgive.

I want to be a better friend, make better friends.

I want to be able to look in the mirror and love the person i see.

i want to leave my mark on this crazy world.

I want to be a partner in crime.

I want to have the strength to shutout all negativity in my life.

I want to get to know beauty in all directions.

I want to be Me.

Whatever, whomever that is...I want to find her.

I DEsire to...

be...

adventurous.

determined.

passionate.

beautiful inside and out.

trustworthy.

artistic.

unregretful.

a communicator

loved & love w/ every bit of my soul.

somebody to run to.

one to run to a somebody.

knowledgable of my weaknessess.

knowledgable of my strengths.

be.

admired...

an admirer...

a rolemodel.

a hero.

All these desires i crave from the pit of my belly... like music, air, water, sleep lol ;), love, chocolate. mmm. & a warm blanket...

Mmm chocolate and a warm blankey sound blissful as of right now.

please excuse my punctuation...may i remind you.. this is my blog. not yours. :)

This is legit...I shall believe.

to be cont...my passions

A new do! or a Dont do?

So I cut my bangs...not so sure about it yet! Jeff and I also went to Vegas this past weekend! NOthin tooo crazy! But it seriously rained theee whole time.! TWas a nice little getaway! ;0)