take. me. here.

Simmering wheat field at sunset.

A back country dirt road. Although this pic does not come close to doing the actual images of mine justice....you can see the perfect definiton of it here in Lady antebellum new vid American Honey. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tzzr7RbzUTs Everything starting with the dirt drive, wildflower field, pond, and vintage worn house...it's truly perfection. I wouldn't change a thing on the stucture of that home...it's purely flawless.

I also have a deep ache for a far off field in IReland. MMM dreamy.

when you look you see...

When you look you see.....pearl earrings. When I look I see a warm, sunny day. Her so carefully, comfortably, perched on a park bench. The sun basting the pearls just right, whim singly bouncing back to me, adding to her preexisting beauty. Catching her eye she stares back at me. With those wise innocence eyes, that still to this day I crave and ache for from the pit of my heart. Calmness over comes me by this point and I'm at ease. Eased of life's tryings, hardships, and unstable emptiness that I was feeling before this moment. It all just washes away....and it's at this moment I hear her voice. More bitter than sweet more wise than innocent. The familiar, welcome home, warm, fuzzy throw, cup of Jo' to me, that I so desperately needed.

So reassuringly she whispers, "you know how much I love you don't you? You are so special to me, don't you ever forget that! You make me so proud, you are an amazing mother, and daughter, granddaughter and wife. I love you."

These words were commonly spoken, always reminding me of my importance. It was these words that had saved me so many times before. Saved me from breakdowns, tantrums :), puddles of tears, and just plain giving up. My fears, worries, doubts, and disagreements. These words gave me the pathway to a soft landing at the end of the day that I needed to start over for the next.

It's hard to get sucked into all the negative gravity this life puts into our path. She was my assurance, the one stable unconditional soul I knew would be there to catch my falls. My (pick me up) girl! AKA grams.


~Today is harder than the rest grams. For some unknown reason I can't grasp reality and feel as week as ever. Pushing pavements has been a routine of mine most recently.

I may or may not call your set in stone ten digit number daily, just to listen to it's endless ringing. Only to swear that by about the 10th or 11th ring I can hear you pick up. With a slightly weaker "hello" than I'm used to, but the significance of it all remains the same. The pick me up I needed is there in your personalized hello. Almost as if you were expecting my call, patiently awaiting for daily grams dosage.

I may or may not rush to my closet too many times to count and grab your so carefully placed black chubby hoodie from my wardrobe. Crumble it into a ball, jump in my bed and take in its/your smell. 8 months and counting and the smell still seems to linger. Or maybe it's all just imagined....or is it.

says it all.

Everybody needs inspiration,
Everybody needs a song
A beautiful melodyWhen the nights so long
Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy...
Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I... I look at you
When the wavesAre flooding the shore
and I can'tFind my way home anymore
That's when I, I... I look at you
When I look At You I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I amLike the stars Hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I Know I'm Not Alone.
Yea when my world is falling apart
When there's no light to break up the dark
That's when I, I... I look at you
When the wavesAre flooding the shore and I can'tFind my way home anymore
That's when I, I... I look at you
You appear just like a dream to me
Just like Kaleidoscope colors thatCover Me,
All I need everyBreath that I breathe don't you knowYou're beautiful...
Yea Yea Yea
When the wavesAre flooding the shore and I can'tFind my way home anymore
That's when I, I... I look at youI look at you
Yea Yea Oh OH OH
And you appear Just like a dreamTo me.

INtroduCiNg!!!!!

OUr little Rocko!!! We decided to try the puppy thing again!!! So far he's been such a sweetheart! I love him sooo much....it's like having another baby!!!

must have's for spring!

bring it.

I've been brutally harrassed...That is why I went private...but i need everyones email so i can cont...w/ this bloggin world...:) Wow some people...I could definitley drop kick a @#!#@ right now. :( but i won't because i am so much better than that!

Jealousy = bad policy!